Remember the old days where I used to carry you on my back as we play horse ride down the meadows, catching grasshoppers and blowing off dandelion and make a wish? The way you smile and the sparks of your eyes were like a beautiful picture of joy and happiness. We tease each other and sometimes I can see you frowning like no other and you want to scream and freak out, but a little tickle changes your mood in a snap. We play, we fight, we even yell at each other, sometimes we hate each other like worst enemies but at the end of the day – we love each other. You may see me sitting in the corner, sad and depressed, you would come closer cheer me up and always say “I’m here for you and I will never leave you” – but you’re gone cannot see even your shadow.



I wish everything remains just like the old days; we’re innocent and care nothing but to play and enjoy each others’ company. Before we sleep at night we cuddle and sometimes we do pillow fight till our parents enter our room and scold us all, yet we still laughing out loud. During meal times you always tell your stories about your bad day or the friends who nag you, then father would say you’re special and most beautiful – you would blink your eyes like a fairy cause your were stirred up with his words. After that we gather around you as you stand above the table and dance us your favorite disco music. You would shake your body and even swing your arms freely in the air gleefully. Time goes by, we have dreams and we aim for things in life. We parted ways and live the life we chose. But I still miss you; I still miss the old days.  I wish we could have a counterclockwise of the past, maybe now, the truth is hard to forget - that we really love each other more than the hatred we have for each other.


I may have hurt you many times but that’s maybe because you’re too kind to understand and still understand. I may have asked you too much but that’s maybe because you’ve have enough to be asked from. Am I getting too far? Getting much advantage from you? Sorry I’m weak and wasn’t able to fulfill great things in life and sorry for having you involved with my burdens. Maybe you have thought, I’m always hurting you and giving you reasons to cry – I just found myself in a room and realize you were the only one to cheer me up and I was equipped with some thoughts that you will be there and won’t leave me. However things change like the weather and the moment you thought it’s still sunny the rains have already taken over.

We mocked each other’s back and even talk to people about flaws but what’s the sense? We have the same blood running over our veins and we came out from the same womb – we are brothers. You please other like kings and queens but I don’t understand why you cannot even treat me like an average one. I went home to contemplate and wonder much why things look so good when it’s fancy. Am I fancy? I don’t have the image to be fancy to public eyes, so maybe I better hide. One day I run over you crying and asking for help, you were there again backing me off but sorry I wasn’t able to give you something in return and maybe I’ve hurt you again. If only every time I see you around I could hug you, I could see you dance again like the old days, I could carry you in my back and we play again down the meadow, if only I could tell you from time to time how much I missed you and how proud am I to you, but things became so awkward, you were by my side but I can feel you miles away – really would like to ask “where are you?” “Who are you now?” however that might begin a long dramatic story so I better never mind it.

What have we done? Why we were like this? How hard it is to love each other? I don’t know I cannot figure out any answers. I just want you to be like the old days. Are we giving you too much load to carry? I’m sorry. When you say painful words to me, I just bow my head and feel in shame not because what you’ve said are true but because I wasn’t able to see that within myself – I am blind and I need time to know it better I guess. Im wondering why you love other people much and persuade them all the time when we found you sick in your bed none of them have showed up and only family can stay in tuck forever. Im afraid every one of us failed to see that.


Why we feel insecure to each other when we have all the things to be secured if all of us are uniting each other. Why we need to get jealous over someone’s fate when they are our brothers, aren’t we needed to be happy for them instead? Why we need to laugh out loud over our brothers striving for food? Aren’t we having the heart to help them instead? We used to compare which one is better why not we lift the weak and make them better instead? We never like it much to see our brother so poor while we used to toss our wines with elegance, can we not walk over them and share something in excess? Why we need to rumble those flaws, negative traits and attitudes when we are family? Love is greater, is it? Or hate is better than it? I don’t know all I want is to wish for the old days, see those smiles those eyes that reflects happy souls and those treatment to each other. Maybe if time could stand still, I wish to go back at certain point and wish it to be forever.

Indeed true! “You will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only thing you have”. Every person has their own journey or shall we say battle in life but no matter what the things we’re fighting for, we all have the same goal – to become victor at the end.

This might sound unusual to most ears, but this story I have interviewed from a very successful man is really touching and something like “experiences makes you better”. I have this friend and he is a designer. He does architecture jobs and had created impeccable designs highly considered abroad. But before reaching such success, what he been through is a great life challenge. He grew up without family beside him; he is alone and used to live to his relatives. He work chores and babysit his nieces and nephews so that he can be sent to school. He was born with skills, talents and strong personality and he is not afraid to face any waves of life along the way. Unlike others, he’s a bit unfortunate; before coming to school he needs to wake up round 3 o clocks in the morning to cook breakfast, wash laundry and clean the house. He assists his nephews and nieces before coming to their respective schools, preparing their lunch boxes and giving them their uniforms which cause him to come late to his classes. That was his routine and during night time before attending to his home works and projects he must assure first that everything inside the house were fine and settled.

Coming to school every day was never easy too. He doesn’t have enough allowance for transportation and ended up walking kilometers away either the sun is shining up in the sky or rain pours heavily. There are times when he would spend 18 hours working to earn money for his projects (since his course is a kind of expensive one – architecture) as his sideline jobs. He has tried painting public walls and customizes design to some printing businesses in the city for a penny. His kind of man who cannot afford to depend everything to his relatives and he doesn’t like much their attitudes, so doing sideline jobs was his options.


The rest was history and he graduated with flying colors however nobody comes to witness it. Months later, he got his first job in the leading organization of the country as building designer of different subdivisions and condominiums. A little bit, life becomes easier on his part but right that moment, he realizes he wants more like exploring a bigger world. The truth about him is that his talent is extraordinary; he can draw realistically and amazingly. In short the man is in demand. Time passes by and one day he was appointed to work in Saudi Arabia as one of the designers of the biggest real estate company – owned by Americans. Without hesitations he accepts the offer and currently on the highest peak of his career. He is designing sophisticated buildings, malls and other infrastructures in Middle East with good pay.


Who would have thought that success would come so fast on his part? The thing is he is very dedicated and so persistent. He believes that no matter what he do right, there will be something in the end that’s worth the effort.

After long days of living busily and working hard the every job we have, when Sunday comes it’s usually our perfect time to rest, give thanks to God for all the blessings we received and maybe have a date. But have you ever tried sometimes that’s Sunday but “hey where’s everybody?” you have no one in the house to tag along with for relaxation and treats. You might end up losing your mood to wander around and making the best out of the day all alone – that’s mostly the case and then we say “ah okay forget about resting, have to spend time working rather”. There are people who cannot live a day without working or making themselves busy – it’s a human nature and those people imperatively need to exercise how to be happy alone sometime. They must do something for enjoyment and happiness so that they won’t be isolated from the fun of life.

“Sometimes life is like a bubble in the air, it flies yes, but it never stays up there, you will never realize it falls and by the time you try to make it fly higher and higher again it’s already gone.”

How will you able to find out if you can enjoy alone if you won’t give it a try? Besides there is no harm in trying and you can call it you’re one of a kind experience afterwards. Would like to share this experience I have last Sunday where I have learned so many things from wandering alone while trying to enjoy myself with things around. Being alone is not easy correct, but it doesn’t mean you are lonely – after all it all depends on the way you think and the way you see life. Just that, there are people who are highly workaholic and never mind how time flies. What I learned is that, I find my life so busier working hard and seems like I always slips in time and before I realize the value of every moment, things were gone already and I end up so empty. I’m used to it anyway but somehow and sometime it’s undeniable that my curiosity is making me sick wondering how it feels like to be with a group of people, with someone special maybe, with a family and with best friends and associates having food trips, visiting spas and salons or just casual chit chats on a coffee shop.

“Being too busy could blind you seeing what is really valuable and what is important in life, after all everything will be lost and will have no value at the end, what will be left from you is your memory to people – give them the best story to remember” 

Just bringing a picnic mat to a famous park in the city, buying my favorite chips, donuts, a thirst quencher favorite, book, music and wearing my shades looking up the sky – this is how I spent Sunday for almost three years. It’s really suffocating, though it feels cool and yes I can manage to enjoy myself. Then one day as I’m trying to pulled the gun that what am doing is right while observing my surroundings with people passing back and forth and asking myself, a thought popped out into my head which bombed me with my own foolishness- “you’ve trade your time with your work, and you thought you earn a lot to enjoy a lot, you definitely got it backward – you ended up weary and the things your body crave for are good sleep and proper resting, you’re not making any sense at all”. I was bombarded and by the time I was about to visit a certain café for coffee and pastry I dodder as if I’m going to collapse. I went back home and sleep, after I woke up – I realized that life’s enjoyment is not measured on your earnings, it’s about how you live your life accordingly.

"There is great value in spending your time with people who matter most, giving genuine love is much better than giving materials"

Give time to family and always reach out to friends and special people. Who knows one day they won’t be there anymore and you’re too late to do things which supposedly you’ve done before. Time waits no one but time doesn’t require anyone to race with the way it goes, it’s about enjoying every minute and making the best out of it to cherish for a lifetime.

Do you remember the time when you were in the midst of injustice? Typically what you do is react furiously and thinking of revenge. Injustice is such a painful thing which we find hard to ignore and just do nothing with it. Only few can do that and most of us ended up in doing things against people who had given us depressions and sorrows. But have we ever realized what the consolations we gain after this? The price of our vengeance is nothing but bitterness from which we find it hard to let go and had let our lives driven by the bad influenced of it.

I have been to a situation wherein I was betrayed by the closest person in my life and the pain I felt is just unbearable. I have been to a situation wherein everybody talks behind my back and mock me with bad stories which are not even true, and I have been to a situation wherein I was deceived by my own brothers and father. These things were considered as injustice and yes I do react furiously during those times.Then I came to contemplate about what I had done and good to realized that I just make them more complicated and the burdens became bigger. Then I asked myself - did I make any difference or did I settle the things? I had responded them with rude and offensive words as anger had ruled over me and I freak out. Obviously I let myself be the victim of anger. Acting paranoid and dealing with issues had made me crazy and yet at the end of day I was still the loser.


I nod in silence and feel so shame because I depended everything based on my own understanding and knowledge. I took control of those things which I should have not. I was convicted with the bad words that came out my mouth and to people who heard it, it’s unforgivable. Perhaps, I am like the bad seeds and I need to be trashed out the field. So narrow-minded that I'd let the voices of the world affect me badly and it had me turning round in the realm of cruelty and bitterness.

I am writing this experiences I have went through not to convince everybody but to share something we failed to realize most of the time. Sometimes there are things we thought worth the vengeance and that we felt like we're oppressed one. Taking those things violently and trying to implant on our brain that we have the right to punish people for what they had done towards us. But no, we dont have any rule to play to weigh out the situation and making it fair between both sides.

Injustice is such a nice occurrence that can come to us and be tested. Its not about your emotions and your heart been hurt here but this is all about how strong your faith is. The best thing to do about it is never to depend on our own selves or to control everything with our bare hands. What really matters is how much do we care choosing not to sin in the middle of  situation were we are tempted to embrace the most sinful part.This might be a complex idea but for me its pretty simple. We are very complaisance of all we knew and we forgot the one who is more powerful than all of us and all the things in the universe.

We thought we are wiser and smarter than anybody else and we always wanted to get even during injustice moments. Never to let yourself be drawn by your anger because it would lead you to hatred, instead let good heart and good soul dwell inside you and surrender everything to the one who created you. Never to doubt Him and trust in him with all you are and He will guarantee you peace after the war.


If that certain thing hasn't come into my life, maybe I was still chained in a life where anger and vengeance have no limits and control. This is all about trusting the Lord who made this world, who created the air, the sun, the moon and the stars and who gave you life.  When you are in the midst of injustice, submit everything under his name with humbleness and love from our deep within. As long as you have the mind to think or to contemplate things before reacting, pray and always call His name for rescue and He won’t fail you.

No matter how many times we had been given injustice, be still and let the Lord handles it for you for He can do better and great more than you can imagine.

As a writer, I have lots of opinions and wide imaginations with all the things in this universe. But  there is one thing I have no idea about and that is - LOVE. I am a hopeless romantic waiting for a prince to pass by then kiss me on my lips and easily wakes me up from my long slumber - But I'm no sleeping beauty. I thought it only need fast heart beats and a strong commotion of nerves inside the body then alas! its love. The more I understand reality, the more I realized that I don't know anything about love.

I was preoccupied with my imaginative thoughts and still living my life in a dream. The first time  I fell in-love, I thought it was true love. My story starts from having my world getting smaller and smaller and I can see only two of us existing where colorful butterflies flying around making fairy tale comes to life. I have myself a slave of my own infatuation and I end up acting so immature quite few years. I dont want to speak out black and white opinions here, I just realized how childish I am during those times and want to share the learning I had from those experiences. Honestly, the so-called relationship lasted only for two months. But the ironic part is that, I had moved on totally after two years because I let my fancy emotions conquered my entire brain. The ironic part is that, you will realize how stupid you are after you have moved on completely. Though, not so epic but yes I have learned a lot - love is not availed so fast and on every time you just want it, it comes so slow and would take a lot of patience sometime.


Love is all about how you treat someone, care for someone and never do things that would hurt him or her. Love is kind and understanding, love is not selfish and expects nothing in return. But when my ex boyfriend failed to satisfies the kind of  love story I always dreamed, I told him he lacks effort and I never give him another chance, though he had asked for it. We broke up and after a month, we tried to settle the broken pieces but we ended up insulting each other. It became difficult for me to forget him because he was my first love and I ended up clinging with the short memories I had with him. I always tell friends that I cannot love someone else like the way I loved him - that usually the lines of teenagers after their first break up. When someone is at this stage, surely you handle things with exaggeration  - so emotional, sensitive and most probably lacks of experiences to be matured when ti comes to dealing with emotions . What you feel will affect your mindset, thus sometimes when someone is depress he or she feels like hopeless and want to end up things. Good thing, I have experienced such, that only proves I'm human and I am following the normal stage of life.

The second boyfriend was a scammer from a different country. We havent meet yet but I cried infront of my computer because our relationship was over and he was gone without even saying goodbye. That kind of love story we had is merely virtual powered by technologies and a sort of odd mutual feelings coming from milestone. I thought I was out of my imagination but when this man came into my life, I was even more inclined to my dreams,where in I'd wished not to wake up anymore. But the thought came one silent night - how can a person love another person without even seeing her or him personally? I want to believe that love is possible even in that way and that love has no measures and bases -- but I failed. Honestly, I fell in love with him with the idea I knew about love and yes I wished  him to come back but he didn't.



Time passed in haste and I learned  the lesson. Sometimes you can be consumed with your admiration. You think of it over and over and you assumed it is something. Once you have let a single thought conquered your head it would give you a thousand thoughts to contemplate in a certain period of time unless you decide not to think of it anymore. If you have found things so ideal in your part  you might fall into it and wish everything will come into reality. however there is no such thing like magic and most likely your emotions will only deceive you.

It was me again, living life alone and no spice at all. One summer I went home and meet a vacationist in town. I am not attracted but I  like his brain, though I haven't touch, smell nor see it. He has high IQ and even beat me up in playing my favorite card games.Aside from that, he got nice hair and he's a kind of gentleman. I thought he was the one because as time spent with him along with the groups, I realized he is cool and funny. But the person ask me one thing I cannot give. He is asking me too much just to prove to him my love.I was upset and would rather lose him than giving something I valued the most. People who ask evidence of love are no good. Love has no evidence, it is felt. love asks nothing but always wanted to be expressed. Im so thankful I was out from such situation, I was able to found out that some people are not worth loving.

With all the experiences I have, seems like it had me opinionated. Maybe not my luck today and who knows tomorrow that could be it. What I learned is, love comes to those who wait. I cannot imagine the world without this thing and I do believe that regardless of the advent of technologies, there are still noble things that would make us appreciate life simply.